How to Choose the Right Therapist for You?

Choosing a therapist can feel like a vulnerable experience even before you even make the first call. You may be having feelings of anxiety, grief, trauma, relationship stress, or a general sense of feeling stuck, and now you’re having to sort through dozens of people to figure out who you might get along with. The good news here is that finding a therapist does not require you to have to know exactly what you're looking for. Nonetheless, there are a few things to keep in mind as you're narrowing down your search.

A helpful first step is to clarify your main goals. What are you looking to get our of therapy? What are the things you're hoping to address? You don't need a perfect diagnosis or polished explanation for what you're going through. Even something like “I keep repeating the same patterns” or “I don’t feel like myself lately” is enough to begin. We are trained to help you organize your concerns over time and sort out what is troubling you the most.

Next, consider whether the therapist has experience with the issues you want to work on. Many therapists list specialties such as trauma, anxiety, relationship issues, grief, OCD, ADHD, or life transitions.

It can also be useful to think about the therapy style. Some therapists are more structured and skills-based, using methods like CBT, DBT, or ACT. Others are more exploratory, focusing on patterns, relationships, emotions, and early experiences through psychodynamic or relational therapy. Trauma-focused treatments, such as CPT or EMDR, may be especially helpful for people working through painful or frightening experiences. You do not have to know which approach is best, but you can ask a potential therapist how they usually work and what sessions might feel like.

Practical details matter too. Before starting, check whether the therapist accepts your insurance, offers private-pay options, provides telehealth or in-person sessions, and has availability that fits your schedule.

These areas can help you narrow your search, but they should not be the only factor. In fact, the most important factor is how well will you get along with your therapist based on both of your personalities. This is something that is hard to assess even during a phone call, and research shows that within the first 3-4 sessions, you will be able to get a good sense of whether or not your therapist is a good fit for you.

The first few sessions are a chance to assess fit by asking yourself: Do I feel respected? Does this person seem to understand what I’m saying? Can I imagine being honest here? Do they offer enough structure, or enough space, for the way I process things? Do they seem willing to hear my feedback if I want to change something about our work together? Therapy does not always feel comfortable, but it should feel safe enough to keep showing up.

Finally, remember that choosing a therapist is not a lifelong commitment. Sometimes the first person you meet is a great fit, and sometimes it takes a few tries. That does not mean therapy “doesn’t work,” or that you are not ready for therapy, it simply means that the relationship matters and you haven't found the kind of connection that you might be looking for with your therapist. The right therapist is someone who helps you feel less alone, more curious about yourself, and more capable of moving toward the life you want.

Our process for matching clients with therapists involves scheduling a free phone consultation with us, so that one of our intake therapists can get a sense of your needs, struggles, expectations, and preferences, and help match you with one of our staff psychotherapists based on that information.